My Hope

July 13, 2016, my grandmother “Mama” slept in the Lord.

God gave my husband and I the opportunity to spend some of her last days with her, and we will both cherish those priceless moments.

Mama loved God and she brought up her children and grandchildren in the way of the Lord. Growing up, we spent Christmas holidays with her to keep her company after my grandfather passed away. Morning prayers were unfailing at 6a.m. – that was not much fun for 7 and 8 year olds on holiday who just wanted to sleep all day. Sundays were very special days, after church, Mama NEVER allowed us to play, she would entice us with chocolates and other treats and say “Whoever can learn this Psalm and recite it this evening will get chocolate.” Oooooh, there was always so much excitement among the grandchildren, and we were all so competitive, and to make the stakes even higher, she would add “Whoever can recite it in Yoruba will get extra chocolate.” Boy! We all tried to learn Psalm 1 in Yoruba, I think I can only remember verse 1 in Yoruba 😀

I thank God for all the joyful memories I have of Mama, and most importantly, although I cried my eyes out because I’ll miss her, I do not mourn for Mama but we rejoiced and gave glory to God. Not because of her “old age” (old age is very subjective, mama could have been 101 and I would still think she was young) but because of the hope we have.

“But I would not have you to be ignorant, brethren, concerning them which are asleep, that ye sorrow not, even as others which have no hope.” – 1 Thessalonians 4:13 (KJV)

Now Faith is the substance of things hoped for,the evidence of things not seen.

Different people have faith in different things. But as believers in Christ, who have received THE GOSPEL, our faith is the faith of God’s elect. This is the faith the gospel teaches.

“Paul, a servant of God, and an apostle of Jesus Christ, according to the faith of God’s elect, and the acknowledging of the truth which is after godliness; In hope of eternal life, which God, that cannot lie, promised before the world began.” Titus 1: 1-2 (KJV)

There’s a hope that the faith of God’s elect is based on, and it is based on the blessed hope. This is the hope that holds our faith up. THE GOSPEL brings a promise and that promise is what produces hope in the believer. The promise of Eternal Life. That hope manifests in the faith of a believer.

The faith that an individual has is the token of his expectation…..What he’s looking forward to….Sadly the faith that is common in our churches today is the faith to receive things, the faith of healing, signs and wonders, long life and prosperity. The church unfortunately encourages us to seek these things and gives a myopic view. We do not have eternity in our hearts, we are not encouraged unto the things that are above, and encouraged to seek the imperishable things.

Hmmmm…as Paul wrote..

“If in this life only we have hope in Christ, we are of all men most miserable.” 1 Corinthians 15:19 (KJV)

I know Mama had that blessed hope. She longed too see our Father. And I cannot even begin to imagine the joy! My husband and I were talking about it the other day, we cannot begin to even imagine her joy as she closed her eyes and slept peacefully….Oh what joy!! That we have that hope! Not a hope based on uncertainty, but a hope in the God that cannot lie!

The word of God says, “where there is no vision, the people perish…”

What do you look forward to? His appearing, or how you will make more money “tomorrow”..

There is a need to have vision, and that vision is held up by the blessed hope. The blessed hope is what your faith is laid on. The promise the gospel gave is what gives us that hope.

 

“Teaching us that, denying ungodliness and worldly lusts, we should live soberly, righteously, and godly, in this present world; Looking for that blessed hope, and the glorious appearing of the great God and our Saviour Jesus Christ” – Titus 2 :12 – 13 (KJV)

What is your hope?

Love,

S…x

Undercover Boss

The last few days, I watched a few episodes of Undercover Boss! YAY! It’s a show that really transforms the lives of people. So for those of you who have NEVER heard of Undercover Boss It’s based on senior executives of a company; so mostly the CEO or the president of a company working undercover in their own company to really see how their companies work, identify how they can be improved and so on. So the executive usually has a makeover to ensure none of the employees or customers are able to recognize them. So they go in looking like average Joe or plain Jane and interact with their employees.

At the end of the show, all the bosses always talk about how the show changed their lives, how it’ll make them run their company better, because now they know what the employees really need. They’re just not sitting down in their HQ passing rules and business codes that will really not benefit their employees and such things. They also end up giving financial support to some of the employees who were hardworking and kind hearted (to the person they didn’t know was the boss!

Anyhooooos…so the other day, as I was getting dressed, I said to my husband “Hey! You know what Undercover Boss reminds me of?” He’s like “:/ what?” and I tell him how it reminds me of how Jesus came to the world.

God in His infinite wisdom, gave HIS Son to us, to come into this world, to live among us, to walk with us.

For we do not have a High Priest who is unable to sympathize and understand our weaknesses and temptations, but One who has been tempted [knowing exactly how it feels to be human] in every respect as we are, yet without [committing any] sin. Hebrews 4: 15 (AMP)

Isn’t it just the most amazing thing. I am in awe of God and the way He chooses to deal with us. His love towards us is so great! And because we know Jesus knows all the agonies, the trials and the pains we go through, we can with boldness therefore go to the throne of grace. Isn’t that just amazing! Having that confidence and knowing that there’s NOTHING we are going through or nothing we will ever go through that He can’t relate to. What a compassionate God we have.

Therefore, it was essential that He had to be made like His brothers (mankind) in every respect, so that He might [by experience] become a merciful and faithful High Priest in things related to God, to make atonement (propitiation) for the people’s sins [thereby wiping away the sin, satisfying divine justice, and providing a way of reconciliation between God and mankind].  Because He Himself [in His humanity] has suffered in being tempted, He is able to help and provide immediate assistance to those who are being tempted and exposed to suffering. Hebrews 2: 17-18 (AMP)

It’s just a great reminder of the depth of the love Christ has for us, and the things that were done to reconcile us back to God. What a comfort to know that our Lord is truly a compassionate God. I pray that as we meditate and truly consider all that Christ did for us and all He went through for us, that we may with humility have a renewed sense of love and commitment to Him.

The other thing that my husband and I talked about was how some of these employees were genuinely just nice and caring people with big hearts… and how they never knew the person they were showing kindness to was the Boss…they were just being kind to someone that was probably as “less fortunate” as they were.  In the same way, the word of God commands us to love all men, to show kindness, not because we expect anything in return nor because as the world says “one good turn deserves another” but because that is what God demands of us. I pray God helps us and that we pour out and show love out of the abundance of the love that God has put in our hearts by the Holy Spirit. Amen!

Love,

S…x

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Mind of Christ (II)

Last time, I wrote about having  The Mind Of Christ. I touched on the carnal mind and how the carnal person, although a believer, bears similarity to the natural person (i.e someone who is not a believer)

Now we’re going to focus on who the spiritual man is. The spiritual man has a spiritual mind. That is what we have come to know as the mind of Christ. Even though the Bible says we have the mind of Christ, it’s only a potential. But because we have the seed of God, and God has put in us everything we need to have that mind, we can be said to have the mind of Christ. Praise God!

However, there are stages of growth we need to go through to get there. Many times we think a spiritual man is someone who operates in the gifts of the spirit or does signs and wonders, but those things have nothing to do with if a man is spiritual. The word of God tells us not to classify men based on those gifts. Jesus said “by their fruits you shall know them”

A spiritual person is a God focused person, whose thoughts are dominated by thoughts about pleasing God and doing God’s will.  

For those who live according to the flesh set their minds on the things of the flesh, but those who live according to the Spirit, the things of the Spirit. For to be carnally minded is death, but to be spiritually minded is life and peace.  Because the carnal mind is enmity against God; for it is not subject to the law of God, nor indeed can be. Romans 8: 5-7 (NKJV)

Jesus said many will say to Him on that day…”I prophesied in your name, cast out demons in your name, and He will say, depart from me you workers of iniquity…”

The Corinthian church was classified as carnal. They were enriched in faith, in utterance, they came behind in no gift., yet he said they were carnal in spite of all those things. There are two basic categories of people; those that focus on the flesh and those that focus on the spirit.

But someone asks, “How do you know who is after the flesh and after the spirit.” The idea of minding the things of the flesh is that he focuses his mind on the things of the flesh. What you focus your mind on shows what’s in your heart. Therefore if my mind is focused on money, cars and worldly riches, then…….

The Bible says “As a man thinketh in his heart so is he”

The questions to ask myself is “What dominates my mind?” 

The main differences between a carnal believer and a spiritual believer are their character, their motive and their mind.

The spiritual man possesses the character of Christ and the mind of Christ, because Christ is formed in Him. It’s not automatic. Paul in Galatians 4:19 said  “my little children, of whom I travail in birth again until Christ be formed in you,”  Romans 8:29  For whom he did foreknow, he also did predestinate to be conformed to the image of his Son, that he might be the firstborn among many brethren. Galatians 3:27 says we PUT ON Christ. Some other translations say CLOTHED with Christ. Putting on Christ isn’t by mentioning the name of Christ on our lips. It means I become a reflection of Christ, Christ begins to manifest in me and through me. By reason of what Christ has done, we ought not to walk as mere men. Therefore, any man exhibiting the character of a natural human being is not yet a spiritual man. Because he is walking as a mere man. The Corinthian church were exhibiting all the gifts but still walking as mere men. Even when it is considered “good character” in the world, the righteousness of men is as filthy rags before God. We are only accepted because of Christ! Oh what love!!! It is not what I think is good, nor what the world thinks is good, but what is acceptable in the sight of God.

The second difference is that the spiritual man is not propelled by worldly motives but propelled by God’s love. We should not be propelled by seemingly good human motives. An example is when Jesus was telling the disciples that He must go to Jerusalem where He will be killed, and Peter responded “May God forbid it, This will never happen to You”  But Jesus turned and said to Peter, “Get behind Me, Satan! You are a stumbling block to Me; for you are not setting your mind on things of God, but on things of man.” Matthew 16: 24 (AMP) Amazing! As human beings, we might say “But Peter was speaking out of love, but we see our Lord’s response” 1 Corinthians 5:14 says we are compelled by God’s love. This means that what motivates us is the love of God. A spiritual man is one who is motivated by the love of God.

1 Corinthians 3:3 You are still worldly [controlled by ordinary impulses, the sinful capacity]. For as long as there is jealousy and strife and discord among you, are you not unspiritual, and are you not walking like ordinary men [unchanged by faith]? (AMP)

This is why in 1 Corinthians 13, as far as God was concerned, they had nothing. He was telling them to aspire for what will move them forward, lay the foundation first, then all these things will be meaningful. So what then is love in the context of God’s word?,not as inspired by what the world says! Love is a commitment to another person on the basis of God’s will, relating to them based on God’s will is how you express God’s love. Peter wasn’t loving Jesus based on God’s will but on human consideration. He wasn’t considering the place that God had which is why the love of God is different from human love.

Lastly, the spiritual man has a spiritual mind. We need to come to the point where our mind is focused on God.

As in water face reflects face, So a man’s heart reveals the man Proverbs 27:19 (NKJV)

The kind of mind you have will affect your motive and it will eventually affect your character.

The most important thing is to have a different kind of mind. Whereby we are motivated by love. Love is the constraining factor. Sometimes you are at a crossroads in relation to someone, for example, the world expects that if you love someone and they’re in trouble and you can lie to defend them, then you should go ahead and lie, as far as he’s concerned you love him. But as far as God is concerned you don’t love that person. You haven’t saved him where it matters most because you have covered him up. Sometimes in order to love someone you have to hurt them.

Until we understand where God stands in relation to people, we cannot love them with the love of God. We need to reach that point. The character that is acceptable to God is the character of Christ. Christ needs to be formed in us.

We have a lot of work to do in our lives to come to the place that God has ordained for us. May God help us.

Love,

S…x

The Mind of Christ (I)

My husband and I had some friends over for dinner yesterday, and in the course of fellowship, someone asked if it’s wrong to pray to God for money. “Is it wrong to ask God for money or financial increase.” It’s a question I’ve heard so many times and different people have different answers and justify them in different ways. But for me, it just keeps going back to the fundamental question. What kind of men are we and what mind do we have?

It becomes easier to obey God and walk with him when our minds are renewed because we are able to partake of the thoughts and the ways of God. Amos 3:3 says Can two walk together, except they be agreed?

The summary of everything God wants to achieve in us is to have the mind of Christ.

For who hath known the mind of the Lord, that he may instruct him? But we have the mind of Christ. 1 Corinthians 2:16

Let this mind be in you, which was also in Christ Jesus – Philippians 2:5

What Paul was essentially telling the church was that they had something in them that made them have the mind of Christ. They had the seed, but they need to yield the fruit.

 

God wants to reproduce himself in us, and how effective this is depends on a few things. The starting point of possessing the mind of Christ is having the Spirit of God. By reason of having that spirit, we will know the things that have been freely given to us. When you receive the spirit of God, the things that are of God will be known to you. Also, human wisdom cannot be used to understand what God is saying. The Holy Spirit is in your life to guide you and make God’s word come alive in you. And finally the mind that we have affects how much of God is reproduced in us.

When we look at 1 Corinthians 2:14, we see that a natural man is the man that does not know God, has not come to a relationship with Christ. He has not had any encounter with God. He does not receive the things that are of God because they are foolishness to him. Which is why they laugh at people that have a relationship with God because their ways are outside God and they cannot understand the things of God.

1 Corinthians chapter 3 verse 1 says in the KJV

And I, brethren, could not speak unto you as unto spiritual, but as unto carnal, even as unto babes in Christ.

The NIV says “Brothers and sisters, I could not address you as people who live by the Spirit but as people who are still worldly–mere infants in Christ”

So these were people that were believers in Christ by name but had not left their worldly ways behind….  Someone that’s not a believer might even say “there’s no difference between you and me.” I don’t believe that the popular church this day encourages us to be spiritually minded. There isn’t much difference between the way of life of someone in the world and someone in the church. Same desires. Same aspirations.

In Romans 8:27 we see that those that are after the flesh mind the things of the flesh and those that are of the spirit mind the things of the spirit.

The carnal man here has the potential to become the replica of Christ. But the potential needs to be realised. There are two different levels of carnality; 1 Corinthians 3: 1-3

Babes in Christ are expected to be carnal. They don’t know their left from their right and they need to be taught because they don’t yet know the ways of God. The second level is carnality that comes as a result of stunted growth or stagnancy. This is the one that’s problematic. Paul was saying there’s nothing wrong being with babes in Christ because it’s the natural way of development. The problem was even after so long, they still hadn’t grown.

Concerning this we have much to say, and it is hard to explain, since you have become dull and sluggish in [your spiritual] hearing and disinclined to listen. For though by this time you ought to be teachers [because of the time you have had to learn these truths], you actually need someone to teach you again the elementary principles of God’s word [from the beginning], and you have come to be continually in need of milk, not solid food. Hebrews 5:11-12 (AMP)

What Paul was simply saying was they had passed this stage of having him teach again the elementary principles of Christ……That’s not the natural process of development.

Ever learning, and never able to come to the knowledge of the truth. – 2 Timothy 3:7

The problem is not that they’re not learning, but they are NEVER ABLE to come to the knowledge of truth. They were more concerned about growing in the world. One of the reasons they will never come to the knowledge of truth is because they think they know it all, they assume they know it and they’re living by it.

So what kind of man are you? A carnal man or a spiritual man?

I pray that God give us the desire to thirst for Him and to forsake all…that we may live up to the potential and truly be transformed.

….to be continued

Love,

S…x

 

 

 

 

Discerning God’s Timing

I am so privileged and blessed to have spiritual minded people around me. Who are always of help, give encouragement and godly counsel. One of such people shared with me on God’s timing, and it was such a help to me.

***

saying, If thou hadst known, even thou, at least in this thy day, the things which belong unto thy peace! but now they are hid from thine eyes.  For the days shall come upon thee, that thine enemies shall cast a trench about thee, and compass thee round, and keep thee in on every side, and shall lay thee even with the ground, and thy children within thee; and they shall not leave in thee one stone upon another; because thou knewest not the time of thy visitation. Luke 19: 42-44 (AKJV)

 Essentially having to let go even of the God given things in our lives.That we cannot hold on dearly and affectionately to the “Isaacs” in our lives and on the other hand thinking He will just accept the fruit of our lips because we sing to Him.

 Knowing the times and seasons in our lives largely has to do with what is in our hearts, this will determine  whether we are like Jerusalem as in Matthew 23:37

If truly we were ever saved God must have melted our hearts at one time in the past 2Corinthians  4:6

Then,when God brings what is truly of Him along it will connect or gel with it. For many people have been genuinely saved but are lost in the sham of religion and the semblance of godliness:

Having a form of godliness, but denying the power thereof: from such turn away. 2 Timothy 3:5

This form of godliness forms a thick layer over our sensitivity  over a period of years and as long as we are consumed in the activity of Church  we think we are really in touch but we most likely have lost our first love.

A very good example of this are three churches we see in the scriptures who thought they were doing well but were well out of touch and out of order. It took God showing them their state:

1) Church at Ephesus

  Unto the angel of the church of Ephesus write; These things saith he that holdeth the seven stars in his right hand, who walketh in the midst of the seven golden candlesticks; I know thy works, and thy labour, and thy patience, and how thou canst not bear them which are evil: and thou hast tried them which say they are apostles, and are not, and hast found them liars:  And hast borne, and hast patience, and for my name’s sake hast laboured, and hast not fainted.  Nevertheless I have somewhat against thee, because thou hast left thy first love.Revelations 2:1-4

2) Church at Sardis:

And to the angel of the church in Sardis say: These things says he who has the seven Spirits of God and the seven stars: I have knowledge of your works, that you seem to be living but are dead

3) Church at Laodecia:

I know thy works, that thou art neither cold nor hot: I would thou wert cold or hot. So then because thou art lukewarm, and neither cold nor hot, I will spue thee out of my mouth. Because thou sayest, I am rich, and increased with goods, and have need of nothing; and knowest not that thou art wretched, and miserable, and poor, and blind, and naked: Revelation 3: 15-17

So, God in His mercy visits us again through various means and deep inside our heart and consciences witness to the thing God is pointing to but then we have to make a choice and pay the price.

So the conditions described in the Gentile Churches is not peculiar to them but even Israel often slipped in and out of consciousness, in and out of coma. The Lord sends His messengers to show to the people the error of their ways and how far they have departed from His word. He is doing it these times again.

The things in our hearts, the things that preoccupy us or things we are preoccupied with that are not of God are a great distraction from attending to whatever the Lord may have us to do and in discerning the times we are in our lives?

What is in your hands? 

Yes what is in your hands?  What are you holding dearly on to? What are you preoccupied with? What are you busy trying to pursue?

Even if the answers to these questions have to do with “working for the Lord” as long as they are and were not expressly commanded by the Lord they are distractions.

Mind you those same things might be ‘expedient’ and pleasing to God in our own eyes. But we need to ask ourselves… Were you told of those things by God, Himself, did He reveal those things to you?

Mary the mother of our Lord said onto the servants at the wedding in Cana of Galilee: 

Whatsoever he saith unto you, do it. John 2:5

Is it He that saith or it is you that thinketh?

If the very religious Jews of Jesus’ day could miss the very timing of God and they saw Jesus in the flesh, who are we to think that we are better than them or we cannot fall into the same errors? The story of Martha illustrates that we can be so mindful of the Lord and wanting to satisfy Him but yet we are still clearly missing the point.

When we read the story in Luke 10 38- 42, Martha received Jesus and His company into her home. It is a good thing to welcome Jesus into our hearts and have Him there. May of us have done that. But it is Martha’s error to be so careful as to entertain Jesus and not understand what His priorities are always. Just as the disciples went to buy meat and came back meeting Him talking with a Samaritan woman and urging Him to eat and He refusing, them thinking that maybe someone else had given Him food to eat and Him answering them that His meat was to do the will of the father and to finish His work.

We are often quick to respond to Jesus the way we have learnt things in the world, a guest comes in to the house and we are thrown into an array of activities to being good hosts. But we should understand that Jesus is not just any kind of visitor, He is not a man, His expectations are different, His values are different and He has His eyes on higher things.

The point is Martha, hopefully came to understand Jesus much better that day after what He said: With our Lord always and as it concerns our souls only one thing is needed not the many complications we bring into our lives by our own desires and pursuit. That ONE thing has not changed since the days of Mary and Martha, it is  placing an emphasis on waiting on Him to be TAUGHT  and INSTRUCTED in His ways.

Our ways are not His ways. Do you know His ways? Have they been revealed to you?  How have you chosen to serve Him?  

Is your service strange to Him , like the strange fires Nadab and Abihu offered to Him? (Leviticus  10:1 ; Numbers  3:4)

Why don’t you pause and examine your ways with Him and come to peace with Him.

***

Love,

S…x

Chasing A Mirage

The last few Sunday’s in church have left me with this question burning in my heart, why are we Christians? Messages in church tell us what we can get from God, what He can do for us, how we can essentially tell him make Him do ANYTHING we want. Be it a 6 bedroom house mansion , new car jeep, new better job, all the money in the world just because. Because apparently all that we can get from Him or all He can do for us are material things…well, no one said that, but that’s the emphasis, ergo….and they give the most tragic illusion that the material things are the goal. 

For this reason, we come to church, with all this lust in our heart, we have a list of things God MUST do….or else…….and we shout “Ahhhhhhh FATHER…..” “Your Amen should be louder than your neighbours Amen” And I’m like hol’ up Jackie,slow your baby roll…this world is not a playground, the goal isn’t to see who can acquire the most toys. 

But this has just had me pondering on things, and I just begin to wonder…. “Who is God to me?!” A genie in a lamp that I rub with my praises and worship of Him….because as we are told “when praises go up, blessings come down.” We have services and movements called PUSH (Pray Until Something Happens) which wouldn’t probably be entirely the worst thing if all we’re asking God for aren’t physical and material things. But all that being said, where are our hearts? With Him in heaven or on earth. The Bible says in Matthew “For where your treasure is, there will your heart be also” Matthew 6:21

So what do I treasure?  And more importantly, why am I serving God? Why do I confess Jesus as my Lord? Why do I sing to my God and Father? The one who made the heavens and the earth. The one who bought ME with a price, not with the blood of Goats and calves, but with the precious blood most precious blood of HIS only son, that I may boldly come to His throne of Grace….

He BOUGHT me. Therefore my life is not my own. I am living another man’s life. Our allegiance is to be to our master alone, as bondservants of Christ. We are to be interested in HIS bidding alone. 

Did He die for us so we can have 5 cars and a big house and a well paying job? Is He your Lord and master, or just the person we go to when we’re in need? I’m fed up of going to church and that’s all we’re praying for and asking for; material blessings. We seek after the things the Gentiles seek after…Why?!

The goal is for us to be like Christ. To be conformed to the image of Jesus, to be transformed into his likeness. As Paul laboured with the Galatians “until Christ is formed in you” Galatians 4:19 He also told the church at Ephesus that our goal is attaining “to the measure of the stature of the fullness of Christ” Ephesians 4:13

If we truly identity ourselves as children of God and heirs of the kingdom, we will have a different purpose than the world. We are to put on the new man which was created according to God, in true righteousness and holiness. Ephesians 4:22-24

We need to be transformed by the renewal of our minds. God made us to glorify Him and fellowship with Him, not to “use” Him as a means to our selfish ends and goals…not to call on Him because we need a favour. “God do this for me and I will do blah blah blah….”

Only God can fill us, only He can satisfy, every other thing is vapour. These other things we seek after “in pursuit of God” will only lead to destruction. Seek God alone, serve Him because He is an AWESOME God. Because He alone deserves all the glory and all the honour. 

“The Lord is my portion” says my soul. “Therefore I hope in Him. Lamentations 3:24

Selah 

Love,

S…x

Joy!

My husband and I in the last few days have been talking about God being Sovereign and Supreme. And as His children, we should know that ALL things work out for OUR good. Like the thorn in Paul’s flesh. 

“And lest I should be exalted above measure by the abundance of the revelations, a thorn in the flesh was given to me, a messenger of Satan to buffet me, lest I be exalted above measure. Concerning this thing I pleaded with the Lord three times that it might depart from me. And He said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore most gladly I will rather boast in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me. Therefore I take pleasure in infirmities, in reproaches, in needs, in persecutions, in distresses, for Christ’s sake. For when I am weak, then I am strong.”‭‭II Corinthians‬ ‭12:7-10‬ ‭NKJV‬‬

The writing below was written by my dear sister Lizzy. Reading through it when she sent it to me was so encouraging!  I pray you are encouraged by her story and that the Lord will indeed be our Joy, our Peace and our Everything! 

Sorrow has been a permanent resident throughout my life. The ongoing pain of knowing that one was rejected by both birth parents. The isolation of never feeling part of a ‘family’. The never being good enough for the friendships to last. The thrumming pain of being an only child.

Oh sorrow, how grateful I am that you have drawn my heart to the greatest LOVE one can ever know. Though my sorrow continues, the Joy I have come to know lingers like a flame day by day. From the hair on my crown to the bottom of my feet. Whether the day brings sunshine or rain, joy has no limit. Oh how my heart rejoices.

It wasn’t till I was 18 that I realised my heart was full of sorrow. I had just given my life to Christ and I was excited to know that I had received unconditional love (I can still remember that day like it was yesterday).

In the midst of that change, my life came to an abrupt halt. The day before I was moving to University my mother told me that my father had six months to live. He had been diagnosed with terminal cancer. Everything from that day felt like a blur. I remember just crying on my own, floods of tears pouring from my eyes. My father is more than a father. He is my best friend, my handsome Lagos boy (haha), my cooking partner, the man who adopted me at the age of five, but more importantly he is reliable. My father’s yes is always yes, and his no is always no. I have held unto that gift all of my adult life. It made me feel safe and loved. Especially, as I struggled to feel like I belonged within my family. However, my father’s love was my security. 

Twelve years later, as I reflect on the day that changed my life. I feel so blessed that the Lord would allow me to partake in dear fathers suffering, that later lead me to experiencing the Love of God in a wonderful way.    

Twelve years of Cancer has felt like 50 years of pain. Every call is always a possible ‘sorry your father has died’. Every year is spent with countless days in hospital. The special moments like graduation can land on the ‘chemo’ day. The days where you want to talk he wants to sleep and rest from all the chemotherapy. The journey has often been lonely and isolating. Caring for someone with cancer is a 24hr job. One’s life and behaviour starts to revolve around cancer.

During those times I struggled with selfishness and contentment. Why my dad? Why not somebody else? Those questions became a part of my daily thought process. Pride was clearly a struggle for me. But I finally came to a place of rest. Resting in the Lord that he truly does have good plans for us. His plans, far out weigh any plans we have. My prayer points changed. I was now concerned about how we could glorify the Lord through this challenging time. How could I grow in my walk?

You see, I realised that entitlement was never part of the gospel. The Lord decides who he gives good health or wealth to. He came to save me from my sins, not to be a genie that grants all my dreams. Whatever he gives me, it is important for me to rejoice at all times. Am I only to serve the Lord when everything is going well? Not at all.

 Whilst living through my father’s illness I have also experienced dreams not becoming reality, unemployment, empty bank accounts, failed relationships and friendship’s ending. However, through it all, I still experience the Joy that he gives. The joy that encourages me to serve others and be a blessing to those around me. The joy that pushes me to cling to his word as my only help.

If you are going through a season of sorrow, I pray you are encouraged to know you are not alone within the body of Christ. I want you to come to know the Lord is with you in this season. He will never forsake you or leave you. He will give you joy in the midst of your sorrow.

It is ok to have both.

  

 

 

 

 

Inward Longings

In the last couple of weeks, I’ve been thinking about what it means to hunger and thirst for God. And how for the most part a lot of us are comfortable with being mediocre Christians. Doesn’t really make any sense to me. So I went back to an email I sent a while ago, and my notes.

May 10th 2013.

In my meditation this morning, I read Psalm 63 where David said:

O God, you are my God; earnestly I seek you; my soul thirsts for you; my flesh faints for you, as in a dry and weary land where there is no water. So I have looked upon you in the sanctuary, beholding your power and glory.

And I was thinking. What kind of relationship did David have with God. Because this could really have been something in the New Testament. His love for God is just amazing. And comparing how his flesh faints for God to a land where there is no water reminded me of this show I watch on Discovery Channel “I Shouldn’t Be Alive” some people when they are stuck in the desert with no water and the extreme lengths they go to looking for water. There was a man with a broken leg that dragged himself on the ground for almost 3 hours looking for water!! And I imagine this is the picture that David was painting. The determination to go on seeking after the fountain of life. 

And then I considered the poetic way he wrote all the Psalms…………..

When I picture that, and think about the things David wrote, I’m just …… because I have such a long way to go…. And I guess it’s the difference between wishful wanting and what we really desire. A.W Tozer in his sermon “Prayer Is Not Enough” said

In nature everything moves in the direction of its hungers. In the spiritual world it is not otherwise. We gravitate toward our inward longings, provided of course that those longings are strong enough to move us. Impotent dreaming will not do. The religious urge that is not followed by a corresponding act of the will in the direction of that urge is a waste of emotion. The awe-inspiring power of a discharge of lightning may dissipate itself in the atmosphere and accomplish nothing, while a flashlight battery may provide illumination for a miner hours on end. One is a dramatic display of immense power without direction and the other a quiet application of modest energy to an intelligent purpose. It is my conviction that much, very much, prayer for and talk about revival these days is wasted energy. Ignoring the confusion of figures, I might say that it is hunger that appears to have no object; it is dreamy wishing that is too weak to produce moral action. It is fanaticism on a high level for, according to John Wesley, “a fanatic is one who seeks desired ends while ignoring the constituted means to reach those ends.”

So the question is? What direction am I moving in? And what do I really long for?

Blessed are they which do hunger and thirst after righteousness: for they shall be filled – Matthew 5:6 KJV

Selah.

My Life Is Not My Own

Yay!! I’m back! 🙂

So much has happened since my last post in MAY. Can’t believe it’s been that long. I’ve been prayerfully considering what my first post should be about post hiatus and after much putting off, I’m finally here! Whoop! Thank God for His mercy.

Some Most things are easier said than done…In my last post I talked about the lessons I was learning in courtship and how oneness was something that I was working on. It’s all lovely and beautiful writing all those things and how I’m going to have a joint account with my husband and what not. So fast forward 4 months and those words are being tested. Finance is the one thing that almost everyone says is the main cause of conflict in marriage and other relationships. And when we look at people in the church today, finance is also the biggest thing. Both the leaders and the followers are looking for money. But back to me, lest I digress. The other day we went to the store, and when we were about to pay, I said to my husband as he was about to pay “why are you using my card?” he looked at me and said “what do you mean by your card?”. In my head I’m thinking “but it has my name on it…so it’s MY card”. He ended up using another card to pay…and then when we got in the car he said he didn’t like the fact that I said MY card, and nothing belongs to me. I’m thinking “errrr…..yeah it does”

We get to the house and I’m just thinking “man, God really needs to help me with this, because I am STRUGGLING.” And I thank God for the Holy Spirit who convicts us and teaches us. The standard of God is sure. His word is sure. The relationship between a man and his wife is mirrored after the relationship between Christ and His church as we see in Ephesians 5. That’s the focus. That’s the goal. What is God’s standard and God’s expectation of me on this?

I soon realised that I was no different from someone trying to live their own life even after dying, or supposedly dying. When we become Christians, we lose three things, our lives, our identity and our will. In the same way, when you get married, you lose those three things. Now, many people may raise their eyebrows and not agree. But this is why we struggle, in our walk with God and this passes on to the relationships we have. There is no I. The person you knew no longer exists.  We say we’re ONE, we’re a TEAM, but those are just words. That’s why we say things “You do you, and I’ll do me” to our partners. And that’s the same attitude we have towards God. We only want Him when it’s convenient, we only want to be ONE when it doesn’t hurt us or creep on our “personal space” or what we believe is “ours”. We sing songs like “I surrender all” and “My life is not my own…to you I belong, I give myself away”. But our words and our actions don’t align. They’re like mismatched pieces of a jigsaw puzzle. We still hold on to the things from our past, to what we think we worked hard for and by virtue of our hard-work should not be touched by anyone….not even the one that provided it for us. If we are dead to the world and the things of the world, then we have nothing in the world to hold on to. God wants us to depend on Him, He is the only one that can sustain us.

But if we have truly died and have We have a new way of life. So though we live in this flesh, we should not live after the flesh for it is Christ that lives in us and His grace will be sufficient for us.

I am crucified with Christ: nevertheless I live; yet not I, but Christ liveth in me: and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by the faith of the Son of God, who loved me, and gave himself for me. Galatians 2:20 (KJV)

Those who belong to Christ Jesus have crucified the flesh with its passions and desires. Galatians 5:24

We have died to the rule of sin and death. That “old self” died when we were translated into the Kingdom of God. We therefore do not need to hold back, or try to “shield” God from things. Everything we have belongs to God. We are here by His grace. And He loves us so much that He did not withhold even HIS own dear son from us. He gave all things to us freely. But here we were, withholding the things that will perish, withholding the things that have NO value. May God have mercy on us.

For you were bought at a price; therefore glorify God in your body and in your spirit, which are God’s. 1 Corinthians 6:20 (NKJV)

There are things we don’t even know we haven’t let go of, or things we don’t realise we are holding on to, or things we don’t even know we struggle with until God exposes it to us as we grow more in Christ and in our relationship with Him. That our light may shine brighter and brighter.

So what does all this have to do with me saying “why are you using my card?”….? Well, you tell me…

Lessons I’m Learning In Courtship: PART 1

This is what being ONE is about… Have a joint account, Dress the same way, you MUST wear the same colour as your partner, have your phones synced, and generally just syncing your whole life with one person…Or is it??

Well, I definitely subscribe to those things, well..sort of… 🙂 Or maybe I thought I did until this conversation happened. He said “I want to get a new phone.” I said “what phone do you want to get?” He said “an iPhone, so our phones can be synced……” Okay at this point I’m thinking…”errrr…why do we need to have the same phone?? Are we not two separate people? Am I not allowed to have MY own phone?? Why do our phones need to be synced?? Why do you have to see ALL my messages?? Oh my goodness…can I get some privacy?!?!?” I mean we’re already going to have the same name…

Later, I was pondering on everything that had happened and asking myself questions and trying to evaluate the whole situation to see if I had handled things in a manner that was pleasing to God, or if I had given in to my flesh. And God really helped me with this, because He brought to remembrance the parallel between the relationship between husband and wife and the relationship between Christ and His Church. Ephesians 5: 22-33.  And I tell you, it was great help to me. Because it also made me examine my relationship with Christ and areas in which I still need to grow. I also in this time  remembered something my pastor told me a few years ago. When you get married, you lose 3 things… Your life, Your Will and Your Identity. Didn’t look like I was ready to lose all those things. And I realised that he spoke not of marriage, but this also had to do with my relationship with Christ. We sing songs like “I surrender All…” but as we sing, in the back of our minds, we tell ourselves “all but one…” When we come to Christ, we are giving our lives to Him, we no longer have an identity nor do we have a will, because we have given our lives to Him. But for the most part, we are not ready to yield all to Him, to lose everything…to give HIM our all, how much more to a spouse. Ahhh! I just thought Lord help me! And I realised that perhaps the reason we are so unwilling sometimes is for lack of trust.

But as my fiance says, courtship is a training ground, it’s boot camp. Things aren’t fun at boot camp, it requires dedication and it trains you for marriage, you dig up the fallow ground really.  The interesting thing is, prior to this “phone situation” I wouldn’t have thought I had any issues with, for lack of a better word, “oneness”. Or I wouldn’t have said I was an independent woman, but I obviously had vestiges of independence in my life. There were “new” areas that were untouched. I definitely would not be one of the people to say I’m going to keep my last name, or I have to have my own bank account, or a secret house somewhere, or some secret investment. We find a lot of these days even in the Church. So much independence, and women living as though they have no heads, quite literally. A lot of women don’t believe in changing their names to their husbands name, or being in subjection to their husbands, someone once said ” Just because I’m married to him doesn’t mean I have to tell him everything I’m doing”. We live in a society where it’s encouraged that we manage information, and know the kind of things to share with your spouse, you HAVE to absolutely HAVE TO have separate accounts because what if one day he leaves you, and so and and so forth. It’s not advised that you tell them everything, and truly, this is the kind of counsel that people also receive from leaders in church.  And God was just showing me that it’s a reflection of the old man in us, and the things that hinder us from also attaining the height God wants us to attain in Him. The life that we live as Christians is a life for Christ, as Paul wrote to the Galatians:

I have been crucified with Christ; it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me; and the life which I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me. Galatians 2:20 (NKJV)

There are a lot of things we learn from the popular church and things that are familiar to our natural man that makes us want to live independent of the body of Christ, or of our spouses. We’re not open people, we’re not trusting, and we want to “protect ourselves” so we have our guards up and refuse to “give up the ghost”. Holding on to the familiar things and the things that feel natural and comfortable for us. But the life of a Christian is not natural or comfortable, we are swimming against the tide, and I’m learning that this standard is not the popular standard. It’s definitely not easy, but with God, I know I’ll be made into a beautiful bride for Christ… 🙂

I pray God helps us, to live for Him, and to live lives that will be pleasing to Him.

 

Love,

S…x